2001-06-10-2:15 a.m.
I had a kind of "Twilight Zone" experience yesterday. Something happened to me that I thought I had overcome, for the most part anyway. I went to my (second) cousin's graduation party and I was excited to see him. My other cousin (and his sister) was going to be there. We had graduated high school together and we hadn't seen each other in two years. What I hadn't been prepared for was seeing all of K's friends, also girls with whom I had gone to school. These girls, while very nice, were never really my friends. The weirdness ensued shortly after we greeted each other and made the requisite small talk. All of the confidence and relative peace with who I was melted like snow. I was pulled back into high school and I retreated. Instead of the easygoing, comfortable person that I thought I was, I became again the shy and quiet mouse that I was in high school. For some reason those people made me feel like a stranger in my own skin. Don't misunderstand, they were nothing but extrememly nice to me, and made all attempts to include me in their conversations. as much as I tried, everything I thought of saying, everything that would have been completely acceptable with my circle of friends, fell way out of what these people would have appreciated or understood. God has blessed me with the ability of getting along with most people. I have learned, however, that getting along and being friends are two different things. We tend to become friends with people much like ourselves. And I realize that I could not be friends with these people any more that they could be friends with me. Maybe that's ok. Score one for the mousy chick...wait...oh nevermind you know what I mean. Love,
Supersteph
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