I was thinking about my mom today. I have alluded in the past about my mom being sick when I was a kid. I never mentioned the magnitude of her illness and how it has impacted my life and the lives of my family. I think now is the time.

My mom used to have these migraines. Blinding. Debilitating. I asked her to describe them to me once and this is what she said: Picture your worst migraine ever, when you thought that your head would ecplode. Now multiply that pressure by 20 and that's what I had to deal with every day. My mom has what's called Hydrocephalus and Arnold Chiari malformation. Usually Hydrocephalus occurs in young infants and is characterized by extrememly large heads. Adult onset is very rare but highly treatable in most cases.

Let me begin by explaining the diseases and their treatments. Everyone has fluid that cushions the brain. This fluid is normally drained from the brain through the ventricles, which are tiny little tubes. The ventricles in people with Hydrocephalus are too small for the fluid to drain properly, which causes great pressure in the head. Without treatment, the pressure would continue building and result in something similar to a hemorrage. . .and death.

The other problem, Arnold Chiari Malformation sometimes accompanies Hydrocephalus or perhaps causes it. The reason for both complications are unknown. Arnold Chiari Malformation is the elongation of the brain stem into the spinal column, resulting in paralysis, retardation, and death.

The treatment of Hydrocephalus requires the placement of a VP shunt, a small rubber tube extending from the brain to the abdomen where the fluid is deposited. So, when I was about four my mom went in for the first of 21 surgeries that would occur over the course of sixteen years.

My parents never revealed the seriousness of the surgeries even when my brother and I were old enough to figure it out ourselves. After the first surgery everything went well for about two years.

Then when I was in seventh grade, my mom was in a car accident. She was fine, and walked away from the crash unscathed. . . .or so we thought. She began having problems again. The crash had jarred her head causing the Arnold Chiari to act up. The brain stem had slipped further into her spinal cord. She had skin from a cadaver placed into her neck to hold the brain stem in place. The Hydrocephalus had also come back. The shunt was replaced and things were fine again. Until my mom contracted spinal meningitis, the first of three times.

When all else failed her neurosurgeon tried something new and he literally had to drill a hole in her head. That was the only surgery that had really scared me. Usually after surgeries my mom was completely alert and talking. After this one, she was lethargic, barely coherent and unable to recognize anyone in the family. We thought she was brain damaged. On her fortieth birthday, while recovering from this surgery, during which her second bout of meinigitis occurred, she had a seizure. She eventually pulled out of the surgery and promptly had a mild stroke. And you thought it couldn't get any more complicated.

She has been surgery free for six years now. She does have some side effects from people cracking her skull open 21 times. She has no short-term memory. She'll ask a question three times in five minutes and not remember that she asked you twice before. She forgets: numbers, names, and on one occasion she forgot how to get home. She remembers routines but forgets what she was going to tell you. She can remember what color dress she wore to her sixteenth birthday party but will forget what she did yesterday. It's weird that she remembers some things and not others. Luckily that is really the only problem that she has had to encounter as a result of the surgeries. She could have been mentally and/or physically disabled.

We tease her about having a hole in the head, and she'll even let you touch it if you ask. Every time she can't remember something she'll jokingly remind you "I'm brain damaged. Be nice to me." On Halloween, my dad will check the back of her neck to make sure "the dead man" (the cadaver skin)isn't coming out to play. Some people are appalled at the way we joke about what happened to her.

Surprisingly enough, her ordeal has brought joy into our lives. My mother is grateful for every day that she can get out of bed and breathe fresh air. I am amazed at how strong the human body and heart can be. My family has survived so much.

Sometimes my mom apologizes for taking my childhood away from me, for forcing me to grow up sooner than I should have. But she didn't. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't had my life. I couldn't look at the world the way I do. I see it through her eyes. She shows me the beauty of life every day that she lives it. She allows me to follow in her path of love and light.

When someone is asked who they most admire, most respond with "my mom." I have to say that I feel the same. My mom is not only my inspiration, but an inspiration to anyone who is lucky enough to meet her.

If you're still with me, thanks for reading. Make your life inspirational.

Love,
Supersteph