Strange place, my city.

The stench of horse piss wafts up to greet the millionaire and his socialite wife as they climb into the carriage for a tour of the city. Out of the Neiman Marcus walks a woman carrying a ten-thousand-dollar dress as she steps over the bum begging for his dinner. Poverty comingling with the cloying scent of old money walk these Chicago streets. With all of the poverty-stricken staring at what they can't have all day long we shouldn't wonder why the el tracks are littered with the bodies of those who flung themselves in front of the train. The real third rail of our society is that we don't care.

I have no contempt for success, wealth, and power. I am as greedy as the rest of the world and work for the very same ideals that push some up to the top and kick others into the gutter. I want what the ever elusive "They" have deemed necessary for the comforts of life. I, too, tend to look out for numero uno. But that seems to be a mediocre, if not ignorant existence at best.

In a few short months I will be off to another part of the country saving some inner city kid from his own idiocy and hopefully tutoring him into one of the best colleges in the country. Call it "a mindless exercise in stupidity and futility," if you feel the need to label me. It's kill or be killed in this world, and while I fully agree that the only person who's going to take care of me is me, I don't see what a little shattering of expectations will harm. If on my own way to the top I give a boost to someone else so be it.

I do have a certain amount of cynicism when it comes to the doers-of-good. I don't believe in altruism. Anyone who tells you different comes off as self-righteous. If I want something done I have to do it myself or make damn sure the incentive I offer is a good one. Regardless of how hard one works to save the world, there's always that question of "What's in it for me?"

However, it's one thing to look out for yourself. It's a completely different matter to believe that no one else in the world will be willing to help you. There's always one person somewhere whose only reward is the feeling that he is needed.

I am not that person.

If you want to be helped, I'll help you. What I want in return is simple enough. Don't fuck up the chance you've been given. Bear in mind what I did for you and do it for someone else.

Someone helped you get where you are today and if you refuse to accept or believe that you are delusional. Look out for yourself, but don't forget how you got to be the person you are.