1. nail biting- Do your nails taste that good? Are ya hungry? If you need food that badly I can run to McDonald's for you. I have no problem forking out the 59� for a cheesburger. Hell, I'd even be willing to spring for a Big Mac AND fries if you really need it.

2. The cracking of knuckles- If God meant for bones to crack he wouldn't have made it sound so excruciatingly sickening. Have a hand cramp? Take an Advil�. It works, honest.

3. Throat clearing- It's pefectly cool if you have something in your throat and you need to get it out. No problem. I've done it many times. But when you sit there and hack up a lung for two hours straight and it's so loud that I can hear it through my walls with the door closed and the television on, it starts to get just slightly annoying. Especially when you're trying to study for the final from hell and you can't seem to find your notebook with the entire semester's worth of notes in it!!! (Yes, mom, I study with the TV on.)

I'm not perfect. I sucked my thumb until I was seven. Freud would say it's because I was deprived of oral stimulation as a baby, thus my oral fixation. (Abnormal Psych final, Freud's stages of development).

Yes, everyone it's finals week. And it's going to kick my ass into next Thursday. So please, dear floor mate I am sorry you are sick but SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Some of us need to figure out what seventeenth century metaphysical poetry is by Friday.

If there is no update for more than a week, send in the national guard. I've drowned in a pile of books. Or I've shot the throat-clearer next door. In that case gather up some bail money.

Love,
Supersteph