2000-10-24-11:00 am CDT
Have you ever been bored with your life? I don't know what it is but lately I've been feeling this increased restlessness. I want to do something different. I want to be someone else! Well, not exactly someone else. Just me, but better. "But Steph," you might be saying, "you're the best now. How can you get any better?" Well, let me tell ya. For some time now, I've been craving some sort of excitement in my life that is just missing. I'm a pretty crazy person deep down in places that no one ever sees. You wouldn't believe the things that run through my head at any given time of day. But I can't seem to find people who are like that. Granted I do have some pretty awesome friends. They're funny and sweet and I have a good time with them. But most of my deep down feelings about a lot of things I could never,ever tell them. Yes they would accept me, but it would definitely alienate me from my straightlaced, semi-conservative crowd. In that way I feel like a fraud. They know the quiet, shy me. They don't know the wild, crazy me that only comes out when I'm alone. Their idea of spontenaity is deciding to go out for pizza instead of Chinese. Dance clubs? Forget it! Not that I dance all that well, but I'm learning slowly that no one cares anyway. When it gets right down to it, no one even notices anyway, right? Please tell me that I'm right. Otherwise I have a lot of embarrassment on my hands:) Of course my age does limit me in some ways. I can't get into the really cool clubs just yet. Only two more years. Two WHOLE years! *sigh* I always wondered what prompted people to get tatoos and piercings and the like. Now I know. BOREDOM! Perhaps....a tongue piercing is in my future? I always wanted to talk like a duck. Kinda like when I had my retainer in high school... Love,
Supersteph
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