2000-10-30-12:05 am CDT
So as you can see I've changed things just a little. New colors, which I don't particularly like, but no new format since I'm a moron when it comes to frames. Baby steps, Steph, baby steps. I'm learning as I go and considering it took me an hour to get the links right I feel like I've accomplished a lot. And if you don't think so then YOU design it for me. Which kind of leads me into what I really want to say. I had a long conversation with my brother yesterday. He's very unsatisfied with his life. Bored, he says. Hey, I can relate. My brother is an artist. When he draws, he draws from the heart. Unfortunately he hasn't picked up a pencil in years. I suggested to him that maybe that was a part of his boredom. Art was a huge part of his life that isn't there anymore. So many other things got in the way. And he related his fears to me, his lack of motivation. He's worried that he'll try again, and nothing will happen. But talent has nothing to do with what other people think about something. Each work of art that is created exists because it means something to the creator. My writing means something not because you think it's good. I do appreciate that people enjoy what I have to say. But my writing is special because I put myself into it. My personality, my dreams and hopes and fears and memories are revealed through what I say. My brother's artwork isn't good because he can draw a straight line on the paper. It's special because he can look at it and remember what he was feeling when he drew it. He can look at it and say, "This is what I did and I'm proud of it!" To be able to feel that kind of emotion is what I think he needs now. I told him to go to his favorite spot, his healing place and just sit and watch and listen. To remember what it feels like to be inspired. The pencil isn't going to jump into his hand. Life isn't going to get more exciting by sitting and watching the saturday night lineup on TV. To truly live, to get back what he is missing he needs to get that light of life glowing again. The spark is there. I saw it for just a brief moment. I just hope he doesn't snuff it out. So go out to your favorite spot. Remember what it feels like to truly love life and all of the possibilities it holds. And always, always remember that whatever you do is special because you make it so, not because someone else does. Words to live by. Maybe I should listen myself. Love,
Supersteph
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