Ugh! I'm tired of walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around touchy situtaions just because someone might get hurt. I can and will say what I want, when I want, and how I want to say it. That's my prerogative! I don't need anyone telling me how I feel, devaluing my opinions or beliefs. My brother has always done this to me. He constantly makes fun of what I say, and tries to convince me that what I think is wrong. I'm a pretty stubborn person so his taunting always erupts into a huge fight, one that neither of us win. My roommate did this to me last year. She wrote me off before she even got the chance to know me. She did it again today. She deliberately looks right at me and doesn't say a word. Then I hear her mutter something to her snotty friend. The NERVE!!!

So please, if I say something to you that you don't like, feel free to let me know, but try to do it in a way that is kind and possibly polite. Don't tell me how I should feel. Don't tell me that what I feel is wrong. You don't know me and I don't know you. People often see what they want to see, remember what they want to remember, believe what they want to believe. It's not up to me to change your mind, and it's not up to you to change mine. You don't know what happens in my life. I don't know what happens in yours. I only know what you tell me. Sometimes I hypothesize based on what I know. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I'm not. I make mistakes. So do you. If you don't like this melodrama that is my life, don't be a part of it. But it seems to me that we both lose.

I'm not one to lash out, and I apologize to those who are reading this who have not done anything to make me angry (all of you since my roommate is my main target here). But you need to know that I live my life for me, no one else. Don't try to change or judge me. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I have been known to judge others, and in doing so I drive people away. I learned that the hard way. A certain web god says that it's easy to push delete, metaphorically speaking here since it wasn't a web thing that got to me. And it is. But just because the physical aspect of your diatribe isn't there doesn't mean that it's still not in my heart. In my opinion there are two things that you don't do to me. (1)You don't tell me how I feel and (2) you don't try to change me. If you do, you make me angry. I'm hypersensitive when it comes to my feelings. Please don't force me to lash out at you.

Whew! I feel better now. That was a long time coming. Hopefully i can leave the roommate from hell in the dust now. Anger is not something to keep wrapped up inside. It's always good to express your feelings to someone, but some things just can't be said to the person you're angry at. I mean geeze, I'm not totally heartless. Thank God for Diaryland.

Love,
Supersteph