I don't trust meeting people in bars. A drunk guy slobbering all over me is not my idea of a great first impression. In the past, I have found that people online tend to be a bit more open-minded, and that's what got me started on all this. I guess all I found was that a drooling moron is a drooling moron, regardless of how much tequila he has imbibed.

Maybe it's my fault that this isn't working. Perhaps I'm taking all this too seriously, or maybe I'm trying to rush it. Am I putting too much faith in the idea of a relationship? Do I really even want one? I see all around me the destruction of the heart that love creates. I'm afraid that I'm just using the online dating to try to forget the person I really want. Kind of like a rebound thing, if you can rebound from a guy you've never dated.

Rejection doesn't hurt any less over email than it does in person. I am not happy. This is not working, and I'm tired. So I think I'll retire my online profile, take down my pictures and rest for awhile. If someone wants to come and find me, I'll be here. But don't be alarmed if my hair isn't brushed or my skirt is a bit wrinkled. You'll have to take me as I am, or not at all.

Love,
Steph